So, the lack of response to my desperate plea for someone to find me a date leads me to believe that one, or all, of the following three things is true:
a) Really, you all secretly want me to stay single for your own amusement.
b) There is, actually, no one to date in Albuquerque.
c) I need more local readers.
In the meantime, I did get one helpful email from an old friend. This friend, who I have known since I was about five, has exhibited an unparalleled enthusiasm for setting me up; unfortunately, she lives in New York. Once, during the brief period I was living there and single, she did try and introduce me to someone: by the end of the night he was drunkenly making out with a different friend of hers, who he went home with and soon later screwed over.
As usual, I digress. This friend did, however, demonstrate her cross-continental helpfulness by sending me a couple of names of books about relationships that she’s lately read. And so, readers, I spent the weekend–again–reading about love rather than doing anything to find it. (Actually, I did make one trip to Whole Foods in faint hope of spotting the cute guy I saw there last week; needless to say I left with only a three-dollar cabbage).
And, truthfully, I spent most of the weekend thinking about reading these books while staring at the same page of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” (People: once in a while I have to at least pretend that I’m interested in things, aka school, besides blogging). And, after all that, the only other book I did crack was suggested not by my helpful friend but by my writing teacher–you remember, the one who encourages me to look inward to explain my romantic failures.
Actually, he demanded that I read this book. And, readers, I am glad I listened. It’s called “All About Love” and it’s by bell hooks. (I know, Harriet Beecher Stowe and bell hooks: it’s like reliving high school and college in one weekend!)
I have only read the first 30 pages, but I have underlined most sentences on about 29 of them. I have so much to say I don’t know where to begin. So, it being Sunday night, this being my second post of the day and me having a few more hundred pages of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” to stare at, I won’t attempt to say much here.
I’ll just tell you the sentence from the first page of the first chapter that solidified the fact–already pretty clear from the introduction, which we’ll get to later–that this book is going to change my life: “Our confusion about what we mean when we use the word ‘love,” she writes, “is the source of our difficulty in loving.”
I think a lot about the fact that I truly have no idea what it means to love someone. I did not think bell hooks would be the person to help me figure it out. I’m pretty sure now, though, that she will.
Stay tuned. And sweet dreams.