Tag Archives: Huffington Post

Getting Over the “Princess Fantasy.” Slowly.

On Thursday D, as he frequently does, made dinner for me and a few of his college friends.

One of them has gone on a few dates with a girl that he likes, and all week had planned to call her the following night–Friday–in order to see her over the weekend.

The rest of us, myself in particular, took umbrage at this strategy.

“So if you want to hang out with someone during the weekend, when would you call them?” I asked the group.

“Thursday” was the immediate, obvious consensus. This suggestion provoked a response so aggravated, so extreme that even the guy in question couldn’t help but be amused–at which point the conversation turned comic.

“I don’t just think you should call her,” one guy chimed in. “I think you should marry the girl. Might as well propose.”

“You’re compatible, you’re physically attracted,” he continued, his wife making salad a few feet away. “That’s all you need. The rest you’ve got to work for anyhow. There’s no such thing as ‘the one.'”

This is a theory with which, in the abstract, I completely agree. There are lots of people one could find happy partnership with. With any of them, there would be persistent challenges. Different ones, perhaps, but challenges all the same. Sharing a life is never easy.

In other words, intellectually I know he’s right: the myth of “the one” is just that–a myth.

Emotionally, though, I’m not sure I do.

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The Commitment Question

Last night S and I went out with her colleagues again–two charismatic twenty-something guys who wear suits and work in finance. In other words, men who exist in a parallel world that the likes of S and I do not traditionally enter.

It turns out that some of the things that go on in their world are not entirely different from those that go on in ours. Specifically: beer drinking, gossiping, and men having a radical fear of commitment.

When my blogging habit came up, one of them seized the opportunity to pronounce his impressive bachelor credentials: including, at one point, being named by a local publication to a “Hottest Eligible Singles” list at a time when he was not, technically, eligible. In fact, he was then beginning to date the woman he is now, several months later, still with. He described her with genuine enthusiasm and seems, genuinely, committed to her. The other night, he met her parents.

At one point, several beers into the evening, he began to verbally contemplate his ability to commit in more abstract terms. This is a close approximation of what he said:

“I mean, I’m not gonna, like, say anything…but I think that, maybe, you know, someday, like when things get really serious, down the line, I think I could maybe be, like, really committed and not, you know, do the kinda stuff I’ve done in the past…I mean, I’m not gonna promise anything, you know.”

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New HuffPost Blog, and a Note on Frequency

My second blog for Huffington Post is up today – check it out! (Unless you are my parents, in which case: read at your peril.)

Hopefully there will be no scandalous Twitter hacking today.

Speaking of my mother, I feel the need to share that yesterday she emailed to ask if I was okay. Why was she concerned, you ask? Because I had not blogged in more than 24 hours. She hoped, she wrote, that I was just very busy.

Rather than respond to her email, of course, I blogged.

But seriously: I like writing here every day. It makes me happy. But sadly it does not pay me or get me any closer to my graduate degree and I have several other obligations that do. So I will continue to be as consistent as I possibly can, but if I miss a day or two, please don’t fear for my safety and security.

Probably, I’m just blogging for another site anyhow.

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New Blog on Huffington Post!

On the off-chance that you are one of the thirteen people in North America I haven’t already emailed, I’m starting to blog for the Huffington Post and have my first piece up today. It’s about my idea for an Olympic event in Speed Dating, and my brother Rob tells me it’s “much better than my previous pieces” because “you could actually follow this one from start to finish.”

Hope you enjoy the essay, and I’ll be back later with more, less cohesive thoughts (sorry, Rob).

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