Recently a friend registered a complaint that I’ve heard before from single friends, and probably uttered myself.
She was talking about going to a friend’s wedding where she knows (courtesy Facebook photos of pre-wedding events) that there will be a large number of good-looking and available men, and said that she’d asked her marrying friend why she hadn’t tried to set her up with any of them in the past.
In response, said marrying friend explained that none of them were “good enough.”
“Hook a sister up!” my friend exclaimed in her email relaying the story. “Guys are often not good enough until they meet the one!”
Which immediately led me to think two things. Actually I thought of three things, the first being a show tune lyric that I must tell you springs to mind whenever this issue surfaces: remember that Guys and Dolls song, the one with the chorus “marry the man today, change his ways tomorrow”? Yes, that is what I always think of. And to what degree it is dubious advice. Let me continue.
My next thought I will express to you as a memo addressed to non-single folk: do, please, set your single friends/acquaintances up with each other. I know it can get complicated, and yes it will likely backfire, but really it’s the best way to meet people and eventually everyone will get over the awkwardness. Hook a sister up, indeed.
Finally, I thought that this belief–this notion that a guy will change when he meets us/aka ‘the one’–is one that I’ve lately realized many of us are beholden to, and that is more than a little misguided.